I've got the eating disorder commentary, and I've got the reproductive rights commentary. That seems to be about it. Oh, and language or arts commentary. So, three. Guess which one is on the plate (hint hint) for this post?
I've been spending more time than is strictly necessary reading and commenting on Broadsheet, Feministing, The Curvature, and Feministe. And I find that I [almost] always. go. back. to. my eating disorder. [say in circular voice. that's hard to describe. nvrmnd.]
This community post at Feministing rocks my world. I've never been at a weight one would call "fat," but jeeeeez did I get all sorts of "HELL YEAH!" reading this. I think it was the section on ASSUMPTIONS. People assume all kinds of damn things about you based on your body (no matter what it looks like), and we all know what happens when you assume. (Everybody together: "You make an ass out of you and me." Good job, class.) In the past 7 years since my eating disorder really kicked into high gear, I've gotten maybe two judgmental (negative) assumptions about my internal health based on my outward appearance - at least those assumptions that were shared with me, not including from parents or health professionals. That's NOT. FAIR. It's incredibly not fair to anyone who's not an "acceptable" weight or shape, and it's maybe a little unfair to me (and others like me). Let's just generalize and say it's unfair to everyone to assume that they're healthy or not based on outward appearance.
With that abbreviated conclusion, let me share with you one of my favorite, possibly relevant vignettes. It's very short. It took place about a month before I was made to go into intensive treatment for anorexic bulimia.
Scene: Apartment part, West 47th Street. The kitchen. CN's sitting there with two best friends, L and M. One of L's friends, E, comes in away from the living room crowd.
L (to CN): So how are you doing?
CN: Eh, I'm okay. I mean, I'm trying to not lose anymore for a month. It's not really working though.
M: Yeah, you look mad skinny.
E (just tuning in): Yeah, you look great! I remember seeing you last year in school. You've lost some weight!
CN (deadpan): I have anorexia. My parents are making me go into a semi-residential treatment program.
E: Oh. ... That sucks.
So. Yeah. She assumed that I was healthy? (At at 16.5 BMI. Are you kidding me?) And then I, in an uncharacteristic display of I-don't-care-if-this-embarrasses-youness, told her what was up. Because she assumed that I was, I don't know, on a regular diet or something. Was I a bitch for blatantly embarrassing her in front of people and clearly making her uncomfortable? Maybe. Should people make unsolicited comments on other people's bodies, just because they feel they're allowed to comment on weight? NO. NO, NO, NO AND NO.