Pages

8/23/2010

The Truth About Weight Gain

La Vérité
Jules Joseph Lefebvre

Over the past 4 weeks or so, I have managed to put and keep on about a pound of fat.  Not water (definitely not muscle, LOL), but fat that doesn't fluctuate one way or t'other, and stays right where it is thankyouverymuch.  I've done this by adding little things (an extra banana here, a matzoh ball instead of no starch there) and suffering through the immediate mood-related consequences.

I want to claw my way out of my skin from my bell button.  I want to lace myself into a corset and meld it into my biology so it belongs there.  I want to jump maniacally on a trampoline until parts of me fly off into the ether.  I feel  so.  uncomfortable.

Although it's antithetical to the philosophy behind decoding and curing eating disorders, I've been making a habit of looking at pictures of me at higher weights, and making myself acknowledge the truth that world didn't end all those pounds higher, during that rounder time.  That I was, truthfully, just fine, more or less.  Not comfortable, still uneasy and squirmy, but fine.  No more unhappy than now (the reverse, of course).   And although one is not meant to assign values of good, bad, better, worse to weights or shapes, it does help to remember that I've come back from a lower weight than I'm at now, to a higher weight than I'm at now, and that I survived, and that after I adjusted back to letting my body do its thing, I wasn't abjectly miserable, as I am now after the banana, or after the matzoh ball.  Or just any time, really, that I notice any perceived change for the larger.

I got through it once, and I can get through it again.  My body is literally built to get me back up there, and fighting nature just makes for misery.  And ain't that the truth?

5 comments:

  1. http://vimeo.com/13704095


    but with recent revelations about James Randi, I think he likes DICKS!


    ____________________

    THE SECOND COMING!

    THE END OF ATHEISM

    FOLLOW THE WHITE RABBIT...
    ...
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Smwrw4sNCxE
    ____________________________________________

    THE B**BQUAKE - 911

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yeblvLoVJCA&feature=related

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpZZ2PPBzP8&feature=related

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EvSljPf9on4&feature=related

    you are going to pay the price for this….

    THE RUBBER DUCKY OF PSEUDOSCIENCE III - JAMES RANDI



    http://daddytypes.com/archive/hofman_rubber_duckie.jpg

    there is a lot of sh*t to flush!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cg2AezJo8aQ

    THE HEAD OF THE INFIDEL!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojR-XRt4rrA

    Is America burning yet?

    Maybe we need some more...

    we use the DIVINE against the ESTABLISHMENT... you?

    we do better DEMOLITIONS than you, savage...

    RENOUNCE YOUR ATHEISM AND JOIN THE SOCIALIST FAITH!

    let them know if the MDC continues more people will die...

    the WORLD TRADE CENTER PROPHECY - THE DANCE OF DEATH

    WORLD TRADE CENTER PROPHECY

    FLUSH ATHEISM!

    Actually it is a ROYAL FLUSH!!!

    Let me show you how ATHEISTS were partially responsible for 911

    These ATHEISTS NEED TO BE ON THE TERRORIST WATCH LIST!

    You don’t even have SCIENCE on your side…

    You’re a perfect example of when PHILOSOPHY becomes an ENEMY OF LIFE...

    http://stephenlaw.blogspot.com/2010/06/playing-mystery-card.html

    not quite samantha with her *supernatural spit*, eh?

    this isn't one of your little WORD GAMES...

    blasphemy is a DEATH SENTENCE

    you people actually BELIEVE the BS you preach!

    GOD 1 - atheists 0

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQcNiD0Z3MU

    Atheists,

    you are ENEMIES OF GOD AND ARE GOING TO BE ANNIHILATED...

    Repent and turn to God or be destroyed...

    YOU HAVE NO CHOICE...

    my interpretation of the STATUE FIRE... it symbolizes the SPIRITUAL DEATH of atheism...

    http://www.salon.com/news/2010/06/15/us_lightning_strikes_jesus_statue

    http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2010/6/16/1276680110544/The-King-of-Kings-statue--005.jpg

    http://www.latimes.com/media/photo/2010-06/54332292.jpg

    http://friendlyatheist.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/butterjesus-1.jpg

    PRINCESS DI IS WEARING A NEW DRESS!

    http://www.princeofwales.gov.uk/speechesandarticles/a_speech_by_hrh_the_prince_of_wales_titled_islam_and_the_env_252516346.html
    ______________________________
    http://skepticblog.org/2010/04/06/would-i-ever-pray-for-a-miracle/

    Shermer, I WANT TO SEE YOU BEG FOR A MIRACLE...
    ___________________
    we do like your music Lady Gaga, but...

    The B**BQUAKE - 911

    Let me show you the FATE OF TRAITORS...

    http://www.loiterink.com/photos/products/182_3424_500x500.jpg

    they are incapable of telling the difference between SCIENTIFIC *FACT* AND
    RELIGIOUS AND PHILOSOPHICAL *TRUTH*... FATAL ERROR!

    they also preach a *VALUE FREE SCIENCE* called *POSITIVISM* that ignores the
    inequalities of wealth and power in capitalist civilization...

    for a sample taste of PZ Myers' GARBAGE...

    http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2010/06/sunday_sacrilege_imagine_no_he.php

    HIJACKING IN PROGRESS!!!

    http://hawaiiwebgroup.com/maui-design/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/website-hijacking.jpg

    HIJACKING IN PROGRESS!!!

    how can these HEADLESS IDIOTS BET AGAINST GOD!!!
    ________________________________________
    what happens when you LOSE Pascal's Wager...

    http://www.peterkreeft.com/topics/pascals-wager.htm
    ____________
    you FIGHT PAPER MONSTERS...


    THE BOOBQUAKE - 911!
    ****************************************************
    http://dissidentphilosophy.lifediscussion.net/philosophy-f1/the-boobquake-911-t1310.htm

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dennis, how totally lame are you that you are posting an anti-atheist rant on a post about a health problem in which the Nymph is pouring her heart out.

    You are being a COWARDLY jerk again, and showing that you can't even be a decent advocate or defender of your cause by shamelessly going after someone struggling to convey her path to healing.

    For shame Dennis!

    If you want to post your anti-atheist bullshit go post it on a blog talking about atheism. Go post it on Bright Nepenthe or one of your other outlets but leave CN out of your agenda.

    You embarrass yourself. Truly.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You know, Dennis, I usually just permanently delete your comments here so as to deny you any kind of publicity, how ever paltry.

    But you know what? I'mma just leave this one right here where it is so that anyone who happens upon the comments page for this post can see what a lazy, cowardly creep you are.

    I feel sorry for you, I really do. I think you could maybe benefit from some lithium, maybe some Seroquel or Abilify, and I'm not even kidding. They're second and third generation anti-psychotics, respectively, and they can really work wonders.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I still think Dennis is some dorky, pimply, wildly unpopular adolescent. Posting on threads is his only social life. If you can call it that...

    Just ignore him. No one reads his posts, anyhow.

    ReplyDelete
  5. You know Nymph after trying on so many flipping formals this week for the Air Force Ball I know exactly how you feel and I'm really not liking dress designers.

    ReplyDelete

Get rude, get deleted.