The Blah-Blah Politic

(Like "The Body Politic?" Get it? My God, I'm so clever.)

It would appear that I have nooooo idea for whom I'll cast my ballot in November. I had thrown my hat in for Hillary, but, well, such is life. Of course, she's not officially out, but let's face it... it's looking grim.

Unlike so many people of my generation, I am NOT crazy about Obama, but like so many registered-Democrat swing voters, I am somewhat... queasy about McCain. In fact, I can barely differentiate between my trepidation and curiosity about both of them. So, like a good little citizen, I'm doing my darnedest to learn more about Obama and McCain. Without going into what I think of their actual stances (mostly), here's what I've gleaned about these two upstanding senators so far:

John McCain
Notes from JohnMcCain.com:
"A Pro-Growth, Pro-Jobs Strategy To Get Our Economy Back On Track." Interesting. I wasn't aware that there were actually Anti-Growth, Anti-Job economic strategies out there. This is probably why I barely passed AP Macroeconomics.

"John McCain believes that we must not fail in Iraq." Whereas Obama, presumably, believes that failure would be a great excuse to be an executive producer for a film that would hopefully do much at better at the box office than Rendition.

On hopefully overturning Roe v. Wade: "Once the question is returned to the states, the fight for life will be one of courage and compassion." Gah. Gaaaaaah. Even if I were a mega pro-lifer (I think you can guess on which side of this issue I sit), I'd still feel compelled to print out this entire blog, and shove it in his face, page by page. Courage? Compassion? Are they lacking there? Methinks not.

On "protecting" marriage: "The family represents the foundation of Western Civilization and civil society." Actually, the foundation of Western Civilization mostly came from slavery, revolution and disease, and the victors' and survivors' prerogative to re-write life as everyone knew(knows) it. But that wouldn't be as effective of a soundbite, I don't want to nitpick.

"John McCain thinks it is especially important to increase the size of the Army and Marine Corps to defend against the threats we face today." Is this code for "draft?" Because my husband would go without pause. So before he went, I'd be forced to conk him over the head with something heavy and blunt, and when he woke up, we'd be in Tahiti or someplace, and then he'd be pissed, and I'd be a felon, but whatever. Don't make me do that to our family, John McCain. I thought you wanted to protect families?

The Straight Talk Express: Apparently, this is some sort of new Amtrak line on which McCain gets right to the point and just says it like it is. Apparently, he isn't on it during most interviews, since he mostly hems, haws and screws up simple, vague lines provided to him pre-interview by his speechwriters. I haven't heard this guy give an actual answer yet. See last night's episode of The Daily Show for proof.


Barack Obama
Notes from BarackObama.com:
"I'm asking you to believe. Not just in my ability to bring about real change in Washington... I'm asking you to believe in yours." That's sweet. But I don't believe in mine. I don't think I ever will, as long as there is an electoral college. Sorry.

"The Problem: Tax Cuts for Wealthy Instead of Middle Class." Here's the deal: My household is smack in the income bracket that gets clobbered by taxes NOW and LATER, if Obama (or Clinton, for that matter) has his way. STOP TAKING A LARGER PERCENTAGE OF MY MONEY THAN OTHER PEOPLE'S. The idea to tax the "wealthy" at a higher percentage sounds nice, but just because I make over a certain amount doesn't mean it's easy. I don't make $1 million - not even close - and I get no tax relief now or later. So this is not going to win me over.

"The "Making Work Pay" tax credit will completely eliminate income taxes for 10 million Americans." As a small business owner I do. not. like. this. one. bit. This sounds Scary. This sounds like code for "Small business taxes and self-employment taxes will skyrocket."

“When I am this party's nominee, my opponent will not be able to say... that I wavered on something as fundamental as whether or not it is ok for America to torture — because it is never ok…" Because John McCain thinks torture is just peachy. He'd raise a hand to vote "yes" to torture, but he can't lift his arms that high anymore. I wonder why? Also, it's "OK," or "okay," not "ok."

The Blueprint for Change: I've got your number, Obama. You're the slickest salesman since... well, I don't know since whom, but you're slick like... like a slicker. Or an oil slick. Or black ice OMG NEW NICKNAME! (I want credit.) During your 60 Minutes interview, you veritably oozed smoothness. Your blueprint sounds very... pretty. Anyway, here's the problem with slick salespeople: They're usually so slick because they're experienced at overcompensating for a crappy product. As someone who deals with salespeople all day, let's just say that I have a healthy scepticism. As far as being attacked for not having enough experience, I too have a gut worry about that. Then again, George Bush had plenty of gubernatorial experience, and look where it got him.*

*The husband is fond of saying he'd rather have Bush/Cheney for another four years, because he thinks Bush is generally a good president. I am fond of miming the tearing out of my own eyes when he says such things.