I bought new jeans yesterday evening. It was a quintessentially eating disordered experience.
I grabbed the two sizes I thought would fit me. Went to the fitting room. Tried on the bigger of the two first, thinking it was probably going to fit, only to find the jeans farcically big. The second, smaller pair I didn't have to unbutton to pull up.
Went back out, grabbed the next two sizes down. Tried on the larger of the two and it fit fine for me, which is actually more loosely than "how skinny jeans are supposed to fit." Tried on the smaller of the two and it fit "how skinny jeans are supposed to fit."
I stood there looking in the mirror, reasoning with myself about which pair to buy. The larger pair would stretch out just about as soon as I sat down for longer than ten minutes, as jeans do, rendering the fit somewhat incorrect. The smaller pair would do the same, but the jeans would still fit "properly" for skinny jeans. At least for now.
I don't go in for expensive jeans, partially because I'll use the price as an excuse not to gain weight.
I will use the price of jeans. In order to not gain weight.
I will elect not to put nutrients into my body, and I will use jeans as an excuse.
My comfort in my body will be more important than, say, bone mass, and the jeans will serve as a tool to reinforce that importance.
I bought the larger pair so I would eat something when I went home.
I still thought about what will happen if I size out of the new jeans. It took a while for it occur to me that I will just buy larger jeans.