Joke, Reality

The joke:  I got a tapeworm in France.

The reality:  I ate like a normal person in France (i.e. did not restrict) and it's hard to switch back from that.  Ideally, I should shouldn't* be switching back from that at all.  I should be saying to myself, "You know what was awesome?  Eating like a person without an eating disorder and therefore having all that extra mental and physical energy with which I enjoyed the shit out of my vacation."

om nom nom nom nom nom

The joke:  I'm allergic to being back home.

The reality:  I broke out in hives Sunday evening.  After the pharmacy was closed and all the REAL Benadryl was locked in the cage.  Much itching and hypochondria of the no-really-my-throat-is-closing-up-no-truly-it-really-is variety ensued.

* Whoops, LOL, oh, you subconscious, you.  Downright Puckish.


  1. Le Creuset can be your katana.

  2. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  3. Instead of Slayer, I shall name it Smasher.

    And instead of liquefying undead flesh, it shall make the patented noise: swoocronsch.


Get rude, get deleted.