Parents and loved ones also stumble upon and stick with this blog, but it's mostly for my fellow eating disorder fighters. To the parents/family/friends who have asked me the question above, keep a few things in mind.
Our society is intensely food- and weight-focused, and thinness is equated with intelligence, beauty, kindness, morality, and on and on and on. If someone you love has an eating disorder, the best thing you can do for that person is to consistently provide them with an environment that is free of preoccupation with food, weight and size. Whether it's your child who lives under your roof or your friend whom you see once a month, when you're with your loved one, do your best to help them remember - through the fun things you do and the supportive way you listen - that life is about many things, and the body is only one of them.
Some specific tips:
- It's never too early - or too late - to lovingly confront the woman (or man) in your life whom you think is eating disordered. The earlier, the better.
- In an initial conversation, do your best not to voice your concerns based on appearance. "We're worried - you're so skinny," may translate as, "You were really fat before!" Instead, try focusing on concerns such as, "You don't seem happy," or, "We're worried about your anxiety/depression."
- For the love of baby Shamu, don't talk about "good" or "bad" foods to your eating disordered loved one.
- And for the love of Maru, people, when your gal (or guy) is gaining weight, don't point it out. "You're looking so much better now that you're not so underweight!" may be true, but it will not be helpful to us to hear when we're still struggling.
