How to Earn a Frying Pan to the Face

"Hm... Le Creuset, or All-Clad?  No, maybe Calphalon!"

I was in Kingston all day Saturday (my mom was up checking in on my grandparents) and when I returned, lo, there was no Internet.  Yea, our modem had verily passed unto the great cable ISP in the sky.  We JUST got Internet back this morning, and since our business is heavily Internet-reliant to say the least, I'm just going to pretend that the last two days never happened, after these few observations:

- If you are a non-techie person (to whatever degree someone in your household or office is technically inclined), don't lie on the couch watching a crappy Mel Gibson movie while you instruct the techie person as to what they're doing wrong.  Unless you want a frying pan to the face.  Then you should definitely do that.

- By all means, while your techie person/spouse is fiddling with hardware for hours on end, and running back and forth between Radio Shack and Best Buy trying out different options to get a quick fix, feel free to jump on the phone to the ISP yourself.  But if your goal is a frying pan to the face, I suggest you just stay put on the couch and keep whining.

- You can even volunteer to make some of the return runs to Best Buy, etc., when they become numerous as your techie person/spouse rules out different options.  Of course, if you're craving a frying pan upside your head, stay right on that couch and eat gummy bears or something.

- For the love of Alexander Hamilton, get out of the E*Trade account if you're piggybacking on a neighbor's unsecured wireless network, I mean, holy crap, people.  This was common sense in like 1995.  But definitely keep signing into E*Trade if you want a frying pan to the face.