Dagny Jolie? No thanks, no thanks...

So, reading some of the buzz about the forthcoming Atlas Shrugged movie has got me thinking.


Firstly: ANGELINA JOLIE? As DAGNY TAGGART? Don't they need someone who can... I don't know... ACT? Answer: Yes, they do. But apparently "they" don't realize this, as she's as yet the only confirmed cast member. So many actresses would be better suited to this role, including, just off the top of my head, Jodie Foster and Cate Blanchett. I would even - maybe - take Gwyneth Paltrow over Angelina Jolie in this role.


But, I'm going to get over it. AJ is all signed on and confirmed and probably has gotten herself a cozy little signing bonus, and as we all know, what's done cannot be undone. So, for the five of you who might have read Atlas Shrugged, I'm going to muse on my own personal ideas for casting the film version of this novel. I don't have high hopes for this one, but maybe SOMEONE at Lionsgate will be doing a Google search for at-home Brazilian wax tips, and will thus stumble across me and my AWESOME ideas. Here we go:



Hank Rearden: Somewhat the Dark Horse Hero, though not in the traditional narrative sense. Must have tremendous sex appeal. They're rumoring [not a real word] George Clooney for this role. All I have to say about that idea is: Not gritty enough. Not taciturn enough. Not brooding-in-an-angry-sort-of-way enough. From the previous adjectives, you can really only come to one conclusion: Russell Crowe. DUH.

Jim Taggart: Weaselly. Snivelling. Cruel. Suffers from extreme self-entitlement. Hm. Dagny's brother, so needs to be not too much younger or older than Angelina Jolie (though this IS Hollywood). With those things in mind, I know he's a little old (8 years older than AJ), but what about Paul Giamatti? Eh. I don't know how keen I am on my own idea there. How about... Greg Kinnear? I read that in another article, and agree somewhat.

Eddie Willers: The equivalent of Dagny's endlessly loyal puppy. Doesn't have the "Promethian" (not my adjective, but I'm stealing it) side of the other "Strikers" in the novel, but is one of the best Good Guys in the story, where the author is concerned. Grew up with Dagny and Jim, so needs to be cast in the same age range. I read an article that suggested Edward Norton for Jim Taggart, but I'm going to disagree and say he's a better fit for Eddie.

Francisco d'Anconia: Sex personified. International playboy extraordinaire. Oddly, also one of the good guys. Has a history with Dagny and desperately wants to save her from the "Looters" of the world, but knows that she can only save herself. I'd loooove to see Nestor Carbonell in this role, but that will never happen. Since that's the case, I'm guessing they'll go with someone like Javier Bardem (eh - too creepy, not sexy enough), or someone who just LOOKS like they could pass for Spanish or Latino, like Rufus Sewell, or possibly Dominic West.

Dr. Robert Stadler: One of the biggest sell-outs of the story. A mentor to d'Anconia, Galt and Danneskjold (mostly before the story begins). You need someone with an intellectual, yet weak-minded air. Possibly Sam Neill. (Don't tell me you've never seen The Piano.)

Wesley Mouch: Goes to Washington as a lobbyist for Hank Rearden, but is really in the pocket of the Looters at all times. Starts out insignificant; ends up running the [atrophied] economic gears of the country. Bad, bad man. I would love Stephen Dillane for this. Here's you: "Who?" here's me: "This guy."

Lillian Rearden: Hank's wife, cold in every sense of the word. A socialite who tries and tries to convince herself that she's on the right side of everything, but really, all her energy just goes to hating her husband. Two words: Laura. Linney.

Cheryll Brooks: Marries Jim. Poor thing. Sad, rags-to-riches story gone very wrong. I swear to God, if they cast Scarlett Johansson in this, I will choke on my own vomit. Kerry Washington, or, if they insist on casting a white actress (depends what era they set this in, I suppose), Bryce Dallas Howard might actually work. Despite the last few movies she's been in, she's actually a pretty competent actress. In a related casting call, Parker Posey would make a great Betty Pope, the socialite slut who's subconsciously tortured by her empty life.

Ellis Wyatt: Mercurial oil tycoon who is one of the first "deserters" to dramatically disappear from the book. An angry, angry guy who apparently just needs to be around other competent people, and he calms right the hell down. Needs someone simmering. My favorite pick: Laurence Fishburne. Or maybe Clive Owen. But I'm weird like that.

Ragnar Danneskjold: You can argue that this Scandinavian pirate character - one of the protagonists - isn't totally necessary to a film adaptation. If they do include him, however, my money's going to Daniel Craig.

Finally, possibly the trickiest casting job in this kind of film: JOHN GALT. Brad Pitt is rumored. Quote me later from what I type now (hopefully I'm wrong): THIS IS A TERRIBLE, YUCKY MISTAKE. POO POO. I think you've either got to get a relative unknown in this role, which is of course a big gamble, or at least get someone who's a bit of an Indie Darling. If they can't go that route, then Viggo Mortensen is also an acceptable answer, in case you were wondering. Not that I imagine he'd work with Angelina Jolie. HA. GOT YOU, BITCH. But seriously, seriously. Edward Burns would also work just fine. ANYONE BUT BRAD PITT.


Those are my thoughts. I reserve the right to change my mind at any time.

Also, this movie had better not suck.