13 Years of Catholic School Taught Me How to Pontificate*

*See what I did there? That was a pun. Because the Pope is "Pontif" of the Church, which is Latin for "bridge" or something. Might be something completely unrelated to "bridge." I am too lazy to look it up.

The Vatican recently released an new list of seven sin categories for the Modern World. They include, according to The Lede at www.nytimes.com:

1. “Bioethical” violations such as birth control
2. “Morally dubious” experiments such as stem cell research
3. Drug abuse
4. Polluting the environment
5. Contributing to widening divide between rich and poor
6. Excessive wealth
7. Creating poverty

... Not to nitpick, but... well, I'm going to "nitpick." Non-lapsed Catholics may want to return to this blog at a later date.

1. OMG don't even get me started. This is one of the reasons I became "lapsed." I just can't bring myself to believe in an "infallible" religion if it prohibits birth control.

2. ZOMG DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED HERE EITHER, especially since "They" have now figured out how to create stem cells from skin cells, just as of the last couple of months. So... in the very near future, if not now (depending on how quickly they get this skin cell business crankin'), I fail to see how stem cell research can still be considered "morally dubious." "No Stem Cell Research" would have to equal "No Non-Embryo-Etc. Stem Cell Research" too. So, tell me how a scientist in this discipline would be doing his/her utmost to help a "neighbor," as good ole J.C. asked us to do, if he/she is not doing his/her best (without having to end what many describe as A Life) to improve the world? I just... I fail to see the logic. In the AP article about this Seven list, they call this one "genetic manipulation." I get the issues like playing around with IVF embryos to get a blue-eyed, blonde-haired baby boy, and other variations thereon, and I get the resistance to cloning animals (you'll never see me knowingly eating cloned meat). But you can't have apple pie without getting an apple seed from another apple, planting it, watering the tree, etc., if that makes sense. (Nope. Probably doesn't. Oh well. Screw it.)

3. Awesome. That's fine. Drugs are bad.

4. Awesome. Polluting the environment is bad. How many private jets does the Pope have again?

5. See, here's where I really take issue. I've never been to Rome, but I've seen pictures of St. Peter's and the Sistine Chapel, of the cupola in the midst of Vatican city, and pictures of the Pope's personal chambers inside the Vatican. I've seen video of him drinking a very fine wine at lunch, with waiters in the background. I've also seen pictures of Latin America and Africa, the locations of today's highest (and practically only) growth area for the Catholic Church. And I just can't read something like number 5 without thinking about all the gold, marble, gems, precious artifacts and other innumerable pieces of wealth in Rome, Paris, New York (Catholic Church is the 1st or 2nd biggest landowner here, and NYU is the other) and not get ANGRY about the hungry, threadbare, unprotected masses who faithful attend mass every Sunday (and who also probably use a lot of birth control, by the way, depending on which household we're talking here). I'm not asking the Pope to throw on a hairshirt and go live in a hovel with no security; I'm sure the Catholic Church donates more money to (Catholic) charities than I can count. It's just... come on. There's a reason many want the next Pope to hail from Africa or South America.

6. Please see number 5.

7. "Creating Poverty." What does that even mean? Does it mean going into Iraq without an appeal from its people and getting rid of a dictator but bringing with one a whole new kind of tyranny? Does it mean sending domestic jobs (whichever country is your "domestic") overseas for the sole purpose of cutting costs and upping profits? Does it mean traveling to some place like Myanmar and supporting their tourism industry which is supported by their government which is supporting poverty and hunger and fear among the people? Does it mean under tipping your cabby whose family is in Ghana and depending on the money he sends? Unfortunately, the only page I can find with a full description of the New Seven Sins announcement is in Italian, and while my French helps some, I am just way, way too lazy.

The end.

Actually, in other news, shout out to Governor Spitzer of my lovely Empire State for violating "lust." Way to go there, buddy. Especially after running on the politics of a Moral High Ground. We're all very proud.